I have been drawing and redrawing this scene since I was a child and as far as I know, I've never gotten it quite right.
Sketch - Rik-Tik-Tikki
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I ain't no artist, but your snake probably don't look as threatening as you'd like it to. Riki looks fabulous, but I imagine that comes from your having lots of experience drawing small (adorable) rodents and other mammals. Kah seems pretty cartoony, which might be throwing you off.
I still LOVE this, though.